Eleven years later, and I am still standing on it.
Eleven years ago today, I pressed publish on my very first blog post.
I don’t remember exactly what the page looked like or where I was sitting, but I remember the posture — the decision to stop letting my heart and mind stay troubled, and to trade the weight I’d been carrying for the peace that had been promised to me. That exchange hasn’t always been easy. But I made it then, and I am making it again today.
So much has changed in eleven years. Seasons I couldn’t have predicted. Losses I didn’t see coming. Moves, transitions, hard starts, and slow healings. Yet here I am — not because everything worked out perfectly, but because I kept believing that it could. That He could. That I was worth the better He had in mind.
“I will not allow my heart or mind to remain troubled today. I am casting my cares on Jesus, in exchange for the peace He promised.”
That is still my declaration. On this anniversary, I am putting it back on paper — out loud, in public — because someone else might need to hear it too.
I am believing for a peaceful way to approach my day at work while I’m still there. Not just tolerance, not gritted teeth — actual peace. I am believing that if God has something else aligned for me, He is already moving on it in ways I cannot yet see.
I am believing for an education model that truly fits my child and my budget. My child deserves to learn in a way that honors how they were made, and I trust that what is needed will be provided. I am believing for a peaceful morning — not rushed, not chaotic — one that sets the right tone before the day even begins.
I am believing for a competent, compassionate care team that takes my health seriously and walks with me toward healing. I am believing for a schedule that isn’t just productive but loving — one that honors God first, then me, then my home, then the people I love most.
I am believing for a renewed mind.
For restored vision. For the grace to see myself the way God sees me — not through the lens of what I’ve lost or missed or mishandled, but through eyes of purpose and redemption.
I am believing for a healthy, spiritual church home. A place that feeds, challenges, and holds community well. I am believing for a real system of support — the kind that shows up and stays — for myself and my family.
I am believing for financial clarity. A healthy outlook, a thoughtful system of spending, tithing, and saving. I am believing for a full belly and a full gas tank — not as small things, but as consistent, daily evidence that provision is real and it is mine. I am believing for restoration — a windfall that covers what was lost, what slipped away in hard seasons, what I mishandled when I didn’t know better.
This is a declaration of trust — made eleven years ago on the day I first found my voice online, renewed today, and as alive in me now as it has ever been.
If you are in a season where better feels far away, know this: you are allowed to believe for it anyway. You are allowed to cast your cares, take the peace, and keep going. Eleven years from now, you might find yourself here — still standing, still believing, and grateful that you didn’t stop.
